“How can I find myself?” — you might be wondering. Congratulations, you’re halfway to living your best life.
Most people live their Iives on an auto-pilot, ticking society’s boxes, not their own. Since you’re wondering how to discover yourself, you’re way ahead. Once you understand who you truly are, you can intentionally create the most amazing life for yourself.
Let’s do it, trailblazer!
Why don’t we know ourselves
We are social creatures and heavily rely on others for our sense of identity. Where we come from, our occupation, relationship status, hobbies — all that inadvertently forms our sense of self, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
But there’s a catch. Our authentic self might be hidden beyond the layers of societal expectations, family beliefs and even our own false ideas of who we are.
If that’s the case, you might start feeling like something is off with your life. It could very well be that you’re not living your life in sync with who you really are.
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What does it mean to “find myself”?
When you know who you are, everything in your life falls into place.
Self-knowledge eliminates doubt and regret, since you know exactly what truly matters to you and what is not a priority. You focus on the right things, progress towards your goals, and eliminate anything that doesn’t serve you.
When you know yourself you:
- Have a clear sense of self-identity. You know your strength, weaknesses, passions, desires and needs.
- Know your core values. You have discovered and prioritised your personal values and you rely on them to stay on track in life and make important life decisions.
- Have a clear belief system. You’ve identified your limiting beliefs and challenged them, discerning your own authentic beliefs from those brought on to you by others.
- Have life principles. You are clear on your non-negotiables and areas where you are willing to flex. You have a clear ‘why’ behind every decision you make.
- Have defined your North Star. You have a clear vision for your life — what you stand for, who your tribe is and what your purpose on life is.
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Why should I find my true self?
Imagine you want to go somewhere, you need to know where you are (point A) and where you want to go (point B).
Self-discovery allows you to do both. Knowing your talents, passions, needs, values and beliefs is your starting point, or your point A. And having a clear vision for your life is where you are going, your point B. Without it, you might end up floating by without any sense of direction and, ultimately, wasting your life.
Knowing where you are and where you are going will help you understand what truly matters to you and what’s less important. You can focus in the right things in life and ignore the rest.
Self-discovery is a shortcut to intentionally creating your best life and maximising your potential.
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How can I find myself?
A path to self-discovery is unique for every person and might take time. Here you will find the most effective way to discover yourself.
Embrace journalling
Journaling is an incredibly powerful tool for self-discovery. By putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you create a safe space to explore your innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment.
You can start by simply free-writing whatever comes to mind, or you can use prompts and exercises to dive deeper.
For example, you could write a letter to your future self, describing your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Or, you could reflect on a significant life event and how it shaped you.
The key is to approach journaling with honesty and vulnerability, allowing yourself to confront emotions and uncover patterns that may have been hidden from your conscious awareness.
Try New Things
Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new experiences is a great way to learn more about yourself. When you challenge yourself with unfamiliar activities, you’ll inevitably face fears, doubts, and limitations that reveal your strengths, weaknesses, and preferences.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Take a class in something you’ve always been curious about, like pottery, salsa dancing, or coding
- Go to a cultural event or festival that celebrates a tradition different from your own
- Volunteer for a cause that resonates with you, and observe how you feel contributing to that mission
Embrace the awkwardness and discomfort that come with trying new things — that’s where the real growth and self-discovery happen.
Question Everything
To truly know yourself, you must be willing to question the beliefs, assumptions, and narratives that shape your worldview.
Ask yourself:
- Why do I hold certain values or opinions?
- Where did these beliefs come from (family, culture, religion, etc.)?
- Are these beliefs serving me, or am I holding onto them out of habit or fear
Don’t be afraid to challenge long-held convictions or to explore alternative perspectives. The more you question, the deeper your understanding of yourself will become.
Guide Self-Reflection
Sometimes, we need a structured process or framework to truly delve into our deepest selves. That’s where guided self-reflection can be invaluable. My Life Quest is a great self-discovert tool designed to help you explore your values, strengths, goals, and purpose.
By systematically examining different aspects of your life and identity, you’ll gain clarity and insight that have eluded you before.
Explore Your Passions
What activities, topics, or causes light you up from the inside? When you’re engaged in something you’re passionate about, you’ll likely experience a sense of flow, joy, and authenticity.
Pay attention to the things that energize you and make you lose track of time. Then, make a conscious effort to incorporate more of those passions into your life. Immersing yourself in your passions will not only bring you fulfillment but also reveal facets of your personality and purpose.
Plan a trip
There’s something about stepping outside of your familiar surroundings that can shift your perspective and help you see yourself in a new light.
When you travel, you’re exposed to different cultures, customs, and ways of life that challenge your assumptions and broaden your horizons.
Things you can try:
- Take a solo trip to a place that’s always intrigued you
- Embark on an adventure that pushes you physically or mentally (hiking the Appalachian Trail, learning a new language abroad, etc.)
- Participate in a volunteer program or cultural immersion experience
The experiences you have and the people you meet while traveling can profoundly impact your sense of identity and self-understanding.
Go on a retreat
In our fast-paced, constantly connected world, it’s increasingly difficult to find stillness and quiet — the very conditions that allow for deep self-reflection. Consider taking a personal retreat, whether it’s a day of solitude in nature, a weekend at a local meditation center, or a more extended sabbatical.
During this time, you can:
- Unplug from technology and external distractions
- Practice mindfulness and present-moment awareness
- Reflect on your life’s journey and envision your desired path forward
A retreat creates the space and silence necessary to tune into your inner voice and cultivate greater self-knowledge.
Work with a Coach or Psychologist
Sometimes, we all need an outside perspective to help us see ourselves more clearly. A trained coach or psychologist can provide that objective viewpoint, as well as proven techniques and strategies for self-exploration.
In working with a professional, you can:
- Identify and overcome limiting beliefs or patterns
- Develop greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence
- Create an action plan for personal growth and fulfillment
Don’t be afraid to seek support — investing in your self-discovery journey with the help of an expert can be incredibly rewarding.
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To conclude
Remember, self-discovery is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Approach these practices with openness, curiosity, and compassion for yourself. The more you peel back the layers, the closer you’ll come to fully embracing your authentic self.
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One last thing before you go…
If you are tired of being stuck and ready to create the life you love, try My Life Quest. It is a personal discovery journey that will help you understand who you are, get clear on what you want, create a strategic life plan, and start moving with life experiments. Try for free now: My Life Quest.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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